By contrast, a woman’s presence expresses her own attitude to herself, and defines what can and cannot be done to her. Her presence is manifest in her gestures, voice, opinions, expressions, clothes, chosen surroundings, taste – indeed there is nothing she can do which does not contribute to her presence. Presence for a woman is so intrinsic to her person that men tend to think of it as an almost physical emanation, a kind of heat or smell or aura.”
She has to survey everything she is and everything she does because how she appears to others, and ultimately how she appears to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life. Her own sense of being in herself is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated as herself by another.
How a person is surveyed/ perceived affects the way they are treated. I am in a constant state of surveying myself, and surveying how I think other people are surveying me too. I make myself the object of my own surveying and therefore I am the object for others to survey too.
Every one of her actions – whatever it’s direct purpose of m… – is also read as an indication of how she would like to be treated.